84 posts tagged with "Irony"

Old Wang had been working at the gas station for ten years. Every morning, he put on the blue uniform that could never be completely clean, stood beside the cold gas pump, and began his mechanical day. “Hello, welcome! What kind of fuel do you need?” “Okay, fueling, please wait a moment,” “Fueling complete, please drive safely!” He had to repeat these words hundreds of times a day, like a programmed machine.

Recently, the company introduced a new “incentive system.” Each attendant wore a small loudspeaker on their chest, which would automatically play a pre-recorded pep talk whenever a customer drove into the station: "Add oil! Let's be full of energy today!", "Add oil! Life is like a gas tank, full of power!", "Add oil! Speed up for your dreams!"

Old Wang was a chef, or more precisely, a chef who made smashed cucumbers. His smashed cucumbers weren't sliced with a knife but rather "smashed" using a family-inherited "unique technique." The result was cucumbers that were crisp, flavorful, and unmatched by any other establishment. This made Old Wang a prized asset at the "Four Seasons Spring" restaurant.

Old Li Tou was a temporary worker at the zoo. His daily job involved driving his beat-up van back and forth between the city center and the wildlife rescue station in the suburbs. One day, he received an urgent notice stating that a wild panda was "parading" on the highway, wiggling its butt while running, which was seriously disrupting traffic.

Old Li Tou mumbled to himself, "Is this panda drunk or something?" He had been driving for half his life, and he had seen all sorts of strange animals. But one that dances on the highway was definitely a first. When he arrived on scene, sure enough, there was a crowd of people pointing at a black and white furball, and the panda was wiggling its butt with a good sense of rhythm. It took Old Li Tou a great deal of effort to get the "dancing king" into his van.

"Ten yuan? You're so stingy!" In the WeChat group, the homeroom teacher, Ms. Li, followed this sentence with an eye-rolling emoji. Zhang Qiang stared at his phone screen, his face flushed. He knew this "gentle reminder" was aimed at him.

The cause was a "charity donation" organized by the class to buy winter supplies for children in mountain areas. After much hesitation, Zhang Qiang still clicked "Donate 10 yuan." It wasn't that he was unwilling, but he was indeed tight on money due to recent company layoffs. He thought that ten yuan was also a token of goodwill, and every little bit counts. Who knew that this "goodwill" would instantly become the target of a public shaming.

“Hello everyone, I’m back!” On the screen, "Xiao Tuan Tuan" waved to the audience with a bright smile, sporting slightly disheveled short hair. She was no longer the heavily made-up, saccharine-voiced entertainment streamer from before. Now, she was bare-faced, wearing a plain gray crew-neck shirt, looking more like a college student just stepping out of a dormitory.

"I've gone through a 'special' rehabilitation, and now, I've been released from prison!" She spoke in a light tone, as if sharing an amusing story, but it caused an uproar in the live stream.

Old Wang was stunned for a moment when he received the egg.

This egg was slightly larger than a goose egg, grayish-white all over, with a rough surface, as if it had been rolled in mud. In the office, other colleagues were holding similar eggs, with varied expressions; some looked at them curiously, while others were completely bewildered.

Li Ming wakes up at seven o'clock every morning, not by the alarm clock, but by the slogan "Good morning, strivers!" broadcasted punctually over the community loudspeaker. He lives in a place called "Dual-Track Community," where everything operates on two tracks.

For instance, there are two sets of garbage sorting systems in the community. One is for "strivers," and the other is for "pausers." The strivers' bins shimmer with golden light, while the pausers' bins are dull gray. Li Ming is a striver, and he feels proud of this, though he doesn't quite understand what he's striving for.

Old Wang has been troubled recently. Not because of the year-end bonus, nor the performance evaluation, but because his "color" is not pure enough.

He is a middle-level manager at a large internet company, wearing a suit and tie every day, entering and exiting high-end office buildings, looking glamorous on the surface. But Old Wang always feels that there is still some "impurity" left on him, like a white shirt that hasn't been washed clean, with a few yellowish-gray patches, especially noticeable under the light.

Hugo liked counting steps, not for health, but to complete his weekly "activity" goals. He was a French naval soldier stationed on a "Triomphant" class nuclear submarine. The interior of the submarine was cramped. Except for his shifts, he spent most of his time lying in bed. The only times he moved was to the cafeteria or the bathroom. Therefore, his daily steps usually hovered around 100.

Of course, this number was too embarrassing. Hugo felt that even underwater, he needed to maintain a good "active" image. He downloaded a step-counting app specifically designed for "cheating." This app could simulate realistic movement data based on preset routes and step frequencies. As a result, his phone would display thousands of steps of "glorious achievements" every day.