12 posts tagged with "Humor"

Xiaoming, clutching a thick stack of New Year's money, excitedly arrived at the bank entrance. Today was the eighth day of the Lunar New Year, a day of good luck for starting work, and also the day he could "liberate" his New Year's money from his parents' "safekeeping."

There was a long queue in front of the Automatic Teller Machine (ATM), mostly children like him, all holding bulging red envelopes. Xiaoming stood on his tiptoes, watching the adults skillfully operate the ATM, his heart filled with anticipation.

Li Mei is a careless person. This problem, from childhood to adulthood, has never changed.

During the Spring Festival, she returned to her hometown, and her relatives gave her a lot of snacks, such as candies, cookies, and melon seeds, which filled her backpack. On the day she returned to the city, she was waiting at the train station and felt a little bland in her mouth, so she casually took out a "milk candy" from her bag, peeled off the wrapper, and threw it into her mouth.

Old Liu has been working at his company for almost ten years. He hasn't been promoted, nor has he gotten a raise, but he has developed a "highway" on his hairline. He feels like a screw, fastened in some corner of a huge machine, humming monotonously day after day. Recently, the company launched a "skills certification," ostensibly to "improve the comprehensive quality of employees," but in reality, it was preparing for "downsizing and elimination."

Old Liu isn't worried. He's a Tsinghua master's graduate, a top scorer in the college entrance exam back in the day. He's confident that this certification will impress the leaders. However, the subjects of the certification are baffling: excavator operation, car repair, and cooking skills. Old Liu is dumbfounded. He majored in computer science, so he's good at coding, but wielding a wrench is beyond him.

Old Wang felt like he had become a "trendsetter" for the first time. It wasn't because he bought some trendy new electronic product, or learned some high-tech skill, but because of the small plastic stool he was carrying.

The cinema entrance was crowded with people, all carrying various types of stools – wooden, plastic, tall, short – a motley collection resembling a market. Old Wang looked at his slightly worn-out blue stool he’d fished out from home and suddenly felt a little embarrassed.

“蛇年春晚，一切蛇么都好！”这是总导演在动员大会上喊出的口号。老王作为道具组的小组长，被这口号震得虎躯一震。这蛇年，真是处处都透着一股子邪性。

Old Li is the owner of a community print shop. Before the Spring Festival, he introduced a machine called the "New Year Greeting Slogan Generator." This thing wasn't large, looking like an oversized calculator, with the words "New Year Blessings, One-Click Generation" flashing on the screen. Old Li didn't expect to get rich from it; he just wanted something novel to bring some fun to the neighborhood.

On the first day, customers flocked in. Someone asked for "newlywed blessings," and the machine spat out, "Wishing you a son soon, two children in three years." Someone wanted "auspicious words for the Year of the Snake," and the machine replied, "May the Year of the Snake bring you great fortune, dominate your area, and be flooded with wealth!" People found it novel and readily paid for it, seeking good luck. Old Li happily collected the money, thinking that this machine was quite fun, at least better than his old, outdated printer.

Old Wang was a chef, or more precisely, a chef who made smashed cucumbers. His smashed cucumbers weren't sliced with a knife but rather "smashed" using a family-inherited "unique technique." The result was cucumbers that were crisp, flavorful, and unmatched by any other establishment. This made Old Wang a prized asset at the "Four Seasons Spring" restaurant.

Zhou Xiao was a "senior" programmer. How senior? He had been "fishing" at the company for five whole years. Of course, "fishing" here didn't mean he was actually slacking off, but that he had completely automated his job.

Old Wang was forcibly dragged into the "APT speed course."

He had worked at this Shanghai hot pot restaurant for nearly five years, evolving from a clueless newbie who only knew how to swish lamb into a "veteran" waiter. Life was pretty good; he just greeted guests and eavesdropped on gossip. But ever since the restaurant started this "international transformation," everything changed.

Old Li died, quietly and without a sound. Just like the decades he lived, equally silent. When the community members cleaned his room, they found three bank cards and a property certificate, with a total value of nearly five million yuan. But this inheritance became a hot potato, unclaimed.

Old Li was never married, had no children, his parents had passed away early, and he had lost contact with distant relatives. It was as if he had appeared out of thin air in this city, and disappeared just as suddenly, leaving behind a pile of ownerless wealth.