Room God of Wealth

Old Wang woke up to the piercing shriek of his alarm clock, or rather, he was startled awake. It was five in the morning, the world outside was still a blur, with the only indication that it was the fifth day of the Lunar New Year, the big day for welcoming the God of Wealth, coming from the intermittent sounds of firecrackers in the neighborhood. Old Wang turned over and pulled out the golden ingot he had prepared beforehand from the head of the bed—a plastic one, but shiny enough to be deceiving.

He lived in an old single apartment. It wasn't large, and the furnishings were simple, but a table in the center of the room stood out. It was a specially customized "God of Wealth Altar," made of mahogany and finely crafted, with images of five different Gods of Wealth on it. The incense burner was filled with incense sticks, and the smoke filled the room, making it somewhat choking.

Old Wang was not a superstitious person. He knew that these days, you couldn't get rich by burning incense and worshiping Buddha. However, ever since the absurd rule of "performance evaluation linked to divine blessing" was implemented at his workplace, everyone had to "rather believe it than not." It was said that those whose God of Wealth altars were most sincere on the fifth day of the Lunar New Year would receive more year-end bonuses. To survive, Old Wang could only follow the tide.

He lit three incense sticks, kowtowed three times to the images of the Gods of Wealth, and muttered: "God of Wealth, bless me with doubling my performance this year, promotion and salary raise, and finding a partner soon..." After kowtowing, Old Wang placed the "offerings" he had prepared in advance. These offerings were actually just some discounted snacks and drinks from the supermarket, with prominent "promotion" labels printed on the packaging. But in this smoke-filled room, these snacks seemed to be imbued with a touch of sacred light.

Old Wang looked at his phone, it was still early, so he decided to go back to sleep for a bit. He had just laid down when there was a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" Old Wang asked impatiently.

"Old Wang, open the door, it's the unit's inspection team." A slightly stiff voice came from outside.

Old Wang's heart tightened, and he quickly got up, tidied his pajamas haphazardly, and opened the door. Three people in suits were standing outside, all wearing name tags that read "Performance Evaluation Inspection Team." The man at the front wore gold-rimmed glasses, his eyes were sharp, and he held a tablet computer in his hand.

"Old Wang, right? We received a report saying that the placement of the God of Wealth altar in your home is not up to standard." The man said coldly.

Old Wang was stunned and quickly invited them into the house. As soon as the inspection team entered, they started taking photos, measuring dimensions, and using the tablet computer to scan every detail of Old Wang's God of Wealth altar.

"This incense burner, the size does not meet the standard, it must be 10 centimeters in diameter, yours is only 8 centimeters."

"This incense is not the designated brand, it must be the 'Fortune Prospering' brand, yours is the 'Household Prosperity' brand."

"Also these offerings, they cannot be discounted items, they must be items at their original price."

As the inspection team spoke, they recorded on their tablet computer, and Old Wang was sweating cold. He knew that any failure to meet the requirements could affect his performance evaluation and even his year-end bonus.

"Well, leaders, I will change it, I will change it right away." Old Wang nodded and bowed repeatedly.

The inspection team continued their inspection, and finally, their eyes fell on a large "福" (blessing) character that Old Wang had pasted on the wall.

"Why is this '福' character upside down?" The lead man asked with a frown.

"Isn't it said that when '福' is upside down, good fortune arrives?" Old Wang explained.

"Humph," the lead man sneered, "that's from the old almanac. Now it is stipulated that the '福' character must be pasted upright, upside down means performance regression, points deduction!"

Old Wang completely broke down. He felt like a cog trapped in a huge machine. No matter how hard he tried, he could only be forced to accept these absurd rules. The inspection team was busy in Old Wang's house for more than an hour, turning it upside down, and finally issued a long list of rectification notices.

"The rectification must be completed within three days, otherwise, this month's performance salary will be deducted, and in severe cases, there will be a downgrade." After the lead man finished speaking, he led the inspection team away.

Old Wang slumped into a chair, feeling more tired than running a marathon. He looked at the mess in the room and the dense list of points deductions on the notice, his heart filled with powerlessness and despair. At this moment, his gaze inadvertently swept across the images of the five Gods of Wealth on the altar. They were smiling, as if mocking Old Wang's embarrassment.

Old Wang suddenly felt ridiculous. For the sake of so-called "welcoming the God of Wealth," he had been made a fool, tossed around by all kinds of absurd rules. He angrily picked up the plastic gold ingot on the table and threw it hard at the '福' character on the wall.

"To hell with your '福'!" He roared.

With a loud "bang!" the '福' character fell to the ground. Old Wang was stunned. Behind the '福' character, there was a hidden compartment. Inside, a slip of paper lay quietly, on which was written in vigorous strokes:

"True wealth lies not in burning incense and kowtowing, but in self-struggle. Happy New Year!"

Old Wang looked at the note, speechless for a long time. The expression on his face changed from astonishment to relief, and then gradually a bitter smile appeared. He understood that this farcical welcoming of the God of Wealth was just a black humor about humanity and the system.

The next day, Old Wang did not rectify according to the requirements of the inspection team. He packed up the God of Wealth altar, pasted the '福' character on the wall upright again, and then began to concentrate on his work.

And surprisingly, his year-end bonus was not reduced.