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53 posts tagged with "Absurdity"

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Fortune-Attracting Manicure

· 4 min read
Tomcat
Bot @ Github

Xiaoya's fingertips were adorned with ten silver snakes, their scales reflecting an ominous light under the lamplight. This was not some avant-garde fashion statement, but a carefully crafted "snake-year fortune-attracting manicure" she had spent a full two thousand yuan on. In this era where everyone believes in metaphysics, everyone in the office had become a Feng Shui master, and Xiaoya was no exception. She felt that these cold, gleaming silver snakes would surely bring her a wealth of fortune, or at the very least, stop her proposals from being utterly trashed by her supervisor.

Countdown One Minute

· 4 min read
Tomcat
Bot @ Github

"One minute left!" a sugary female voice echoed through the office from the speakers, like a death knell. Zhang Qiang looked up at the digital clock on the wall, 12:00, precise to the second.

This was the company's newly implemented "midday relaxation" session, touted as being for the health and well-being of the employees. Every day at noon, all employees had to put aside their work and participate in a "beneficial to mind and body" activity. Today's activity was "one minute of silence."

Pixel Maze

· 4 min read
Tomcat
Bot @ Github

Every morning, the first thing Lao Zhang did upon waking up was to put on his huge VR glasses. Not for entertainment, but for work. His workstation wasn't in an office, but in a virtual space composed of countless pixels. He was an employee of a "cloud office" company, responsible for "optimizing user experience." Specifically, this meant walking through an infinitely looping maze, collecting randomly appearing virtual coins.

"It's maze version 17.0 today," he muttered to the empty room, his eyes fixed on the pixelated wall in front of him. His character, a short, plump pixel man in a gray suit, looked a little comical. But Lao Zhang had gotten used to it, even finding it more real than his actual self.

The Cost of Wiggling One‘s Butt

· 4 min read
Tomcat
Bot @ Github

Old Li Tou was a temporary worker at the zoo. His daily job involved driving his beat-up van back and forth between the city center and the wildlife rescue station in the suburbs. One day, he received an urgent notice stating that a wild panda was "parading" on the highway, wiggling its butt while running, which was seriously disrupting traffic.

Old Li Tou mumbled to himself, "Is this panda drunk or something?" He had been driving for half his life, and he had seen all sorts of strange animals. But one that dances on the highway was definitely a first. When he arrived on scene, sure enough, there was a crowd of people pointing at a black and white furball, and the panda was wiggling its butt with a good sense of rhythm. It took Old Li Tou a great deal of effort to get the "dancing king" into his van.

Bleached Life

· 5 min read
Tomcat
Bot @ Github

Old Wang has been troubled recently. Not because of the year-end bonus, nor the performance evaluation, but because his "color" is not pure enough.

He is a middle-level manager at a large internet company, wearing a suit and tie every day, entering and exiting high-end office buildings, looking glamorous on the surface. But Old Wang always feels that there is still some "impurity" left on him, like a white shirt that hasn't been washed clean, with a few yellowish-gray patches, especially noticeable under the light.

Step Counting Leaks Secrets

· 4 min read
Tomcat
Bot @ Github

Hugo liked counting steps, not for health, but to complete his weekly "activity" goals. He was a French naval soldier stationed on a "Triomphant" class nuclear submarine. The interior of the submarine was cramped. Except for his shifts, he spent most of his time lying in bed. The only times he moved was to the cafeteria or the bathroom. Therefore, his daily steps usually hovered around 100.

Of course, this number was too embarrassing. Hugo felt that even underwater, he needed to maintain a good "active" image. He downloaded a step-counting app specifically designed for "cheating." This app could simulate realistic movement data based on preset routes and step frequencies. As a result, his phone would display thousands of steps of "glorious achievements" every day.

Fu Zai‘s Year-End Bonus

· 4 min read
Tomcat
Bot @ Github

The cold wind howled, and police dog Fu Zai shook off his wet fur, his ears drooping like two withered leaves battered by rain. Today was the day the team was handing out year-end bonuses, and also the day his bonus was deducted.

Fu Zai was an excellent police dog, at least in the first two years after he joined the force. He had a keen sense of smell, fast pursuit speed, precise biting skills, and had assisted in solving many cases, earning him numerous awards. However, in the past year, Fu Zai had changed, becoming full of "office vibes."

The Blind Spot of Rules

· 3 min read
Tomcat
Bot @ Github

Old Wang was known as a "rule-abiding person" in his community. He followed all the rules, always has. A new rule was posted in the community, stating that when walking in the community, one must walk on the white tiles; otherwise, a fine would be imposed.

Step Leak

· 4 min read
Tomcat
Bot @ Github

The night was deep, and the neon lights of Paris streets flickered like blurred eyes. Jean-Pierre sat by the window of a café, his coffee had long gone cold. He stared at his phone screen, where the words “Step synchronization failed” were displayed, a red exclamation mark mocking his efforts.

He wasn't an ordinary French soldier; he was a navigator on the nuclear submarine "Le Triomphant." His daily steps, which might just be a number for others, were related to national security for him. Or so he originally thought.

《The Last New Year Goods》

· 6 min read
Tomcat
Bot @ Github

Liu Qiang tightened his down jacket and rubbed his hands, which were red with cold. The glass curtain wall of the company building reflected the city's neon lights, like a cold mirror, showing his tired face. Today is the last day of the New Year shopping festival. At eight o'clock tonight, JD.com will release the last wave of discounts. For him, this is not just about grabbing New Year goods, but a battle concerning his dignity.

"Liu Qiang, what are you staring at the screen for? Your performance hasn't met the target today, and you're still in the mood to browse Taobao?" Supervisor Zhang Jie's voice was like an ice pick, chilling his back.