National Hair Washing Day
Old Zhang stood in front of the mirror, carefully applying foam to his hair. Today was National Hair Washing Day, a new regulation issued by the "Better Life Promotion Committee" aimed at "enhancing the national spirit." Old Zhang didn't quite understand the connection between spirit and hair washing, but he was a law-abiding person, after all, it was related to his personal credit score.
He lived in an old residential area, where the water pressure had always been unstable. To ensure a good hair washing effect, he had turned on the tap half an hour early, accumulating half a bucket of cold water. Now the hot water supply was normal, but the temperature felt inconsistent, like the unpredictable policy.
He remembered Wang Dama downstairs, who was still complaining yesterday that her reading glasses couldn't be used today. Because it was hair washing day, she had to soak her glasses in shampoo so that the lenses could also "wash their hair," as suggested by the committee, saying it was for "thorough cleaning, leaving no dead corners."
After washing his hair, Old Zhang hurried out to clock in at work. On the way, he saw sanitation worker Master Li sweeping the street with wet hair. Master Li smiled awkwardly, saying it was his shift today. Although the committee also advocated for "work-life balance," who would dare take a day off on Hair Washing Day?
Arriving at the office, the scene was damp. Colleagues were all busy with wet hair, water dripping onto keyboards, and documents blurred. Everyone was complaining about the absurdity of the policy, but no one dared to express dissatisfaction publicly.
Old Zhang opened his computer and routinely browsed the "Better Life Promotion Committee" website. The headline was an "important instruction" regarding Hair Washing Day: requiring people nationwide to "deeply understand the spiritual essence of Hair Washing Day, regarding hair washing as a responsibility, a commitment, and a yearning for a better life." The article also included a "Hair Washing Posture Scoring Standard" and announced the launch of a "National Hair Washing Style Competition."
Old Zhang felt that life had become an absurd drama. He opened his work software and found a "Hair Washing Record" option, requiring him to upload a selfie of his washed hair daily to receive his day's salary. He forced a smile at the mirror, snapped a photo of his wet head.
At lunchtime, each dish in the cafeteria was covered with a plastic lid. Some said this was to prevent water droplets from falling and contaminating the food after washing hair. Old Zhang, looking at those tightly covered dishes, suddenly felt like an animal in a cage, his life bound by rules and regulations, even eating had become cautious.
In the afternoon, the company organized a "Hair Washing Knowledge Contest." Old Zhang was forced to participate. The questions were bizarre: "What are the components of dandruff?" "Which shampoo is more environmentally friendly?" "How to do public service with your scalp?" Old Zhang couldn't answer any of them and watched his "hair washing credit score" be deducted.
On the way home, Old Zhang saw a new notice posted on the community bulletin board: To further enhance the national spirit, the committee decided that, starting next week, "National Hair Washing Day" would be changed to "Daily Hair Washing" and a "standardized hair washing process" would be promoted nationwide.
Old Zhang felt a burst of anger rising in his chest. He took out his phone, opened a video app, and uploaded his meticulously produced "hair washing tutorial." In the tutorial, he used all kinds of bizarre props to perform funny hair washing moves, accompanied by an extremely cheerful background music. He thought, if you like washing hair so much, then let's wash it enough.
The video quickly went viral, the comment section was filled with cheers, and everyone called him "Hair Washing Master." Old Zhang looked at the rapidly rising likes on his phone screen, and a long-lost smile appeared on his face. He had finally found a way to resist these absurd rules: fight absurdity with absurdity.
The next morning, after getting up, Old Zhang didn't turn on the tap as usual. Instead, he went to the balcony, looked at the mirror, and poured the remaining shampoo from yesterday, not a single drop spared, into the flower pot. Then, he gently rubbed his hair with his hands. With his "unqualified" hair, he strode out of the door.
At the entrance of the community, he saw the committee's inspectors, solemnly checking everyone's hair. Old Zhang stood tall, and walked up to the inspectors. The inspectors widened their eyes, looking at Old Zhang's dry, greasy hair. Just as they were about to criticize him, they saw a smile on Old Zhang's face, one that was never seen before, a mysterious one. Old Zhang thought, washing hair, it’s better let the flowers enjoy it.