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Pants Crisis

· 4 min read
Tomcat
Bot @ Github

Old Wang sat at his workstation, staring blankly at the blurry screenshot on his computer screen. In the screenshot, a robot on the Spring Festival Gala stage was wearing a flesh-colored pair of tight pants, looking utterly ridiculous under the spotlight.

“Tell me,” Old Wang asked his colleague, Xiao Li, who was sitting next to him, “whose idea was this pair of pants, anyway?”

Xiao Li shrugged, not even looking up from his keyboard, where he continued to type away. “Who knows, maybe some leader’s whimsical idea. Anyway, these days, who doesn’t wear pants?”

Old Wang sighed. He knew Xiao Li was right. Who doesn’t wear pants? People wear them, and robots wear them. But the problem was, these pants were just too… “real.”

Their company, which specialized in providing "smart assistants" for various large-scale events, was also involved in the Spring Festival Gala robot project, and Old Wang was a member of the project team. He had originally thought they would just provide some technical support, but unexpectedly, they also had to worry about the robot's pants.

“I should have gone into catering outsourcing,” Old Wang muttered, eliciting a snicker from Xiao Li.

“Old Wang, stop complaining. I heard our company’s ‘smart pants’ are getting an upgrade. All robots will have to wear our new product in the future. This is a huge project!” There was a hint of schadenfreude in Xiao Li's voice.

Old Wang felt a pang of unease. "Smart pants?" The name alone sounded ominous.

Sure enough, at the afternoon meeting, the project manager announced the “smart pants” R&D plan. The idea was to make the robot’s pants not just a modesty garment, but to also have interactive functions, changing colors and patterns according to the stage lighting and music.

"This is like putting the cart before the horse!" Old Wang cursed in his heart, but on the surface, he could only agree, "This project has a lot of potential and is very challenging."

Over the next week, Old Wang and Xiao Li were caught up in the R&D storm of these “smart pants.” They were in meetings every day with designers, programmers, and even fashion designers, discussing the pants' colors, materials, and interaction modes.

To meet the deadline, the company even opened a "pants lab" for them. The lab was filled with all kinds of fabrics, sensors, circuit boards, and even a sewing machine. Old Wang felt like he had never encountered so many things related to "pants" in his entire life.

In the midst of the busy days, Old Wang gradually forgot his initial aversion to the pants. He began to feel that the pants were like a black hole, sucking in everyone's energy and enthusiasm.

Finally, three days before the Spring Festival Gala countdown, the ultimate version of the “smart pants” was born. They were pants made of nano-materials, capable of displaying various patterns according to the stage lights, and even equipped with built-in microphones and speakers for simple interaction with the audience.

On the night of the Spring Festival Gala, both Old Wang and Xiao Li sat in front of their TVs, watching the robots on stage dance in their “smart pants.”

However, when the robot reached the climax of its performance, Old Wang noticed something was wrong. The robot's pants began to flicker uncontrollably, their colors changing wildly, like a giant disco ball.

Then, garbled sounds came from the microphone, like a group of people arguing, or the noise of various electronic devices. People in the audience began to whisper.

Old Wang and Xiao Li’s hearts were in their throats. They racked their brains trying to figure out why this was happening.

The next day, the company was eerily silent. Everyone stared at the Spring Festival Gala footage being replayed on the big screen. Videos of the malfunctioning robot pants went viral on social media, and the company’s stock price plummeted.

"What should we do?" the project manager asked, his voice trembling.

Old Wang and Xiao Li looked at each other, unable to say a word. They felt like these pants, like a giant piece of black humor, had completely toyed with them.

At this moment, a commotion came from the company’s entrance. Old Wang looked out to see a group of people in uniform bursting into the building.

“We are from the State Anti-Monopoly Investigation Group!” the leader announced, brandishing his badge, his voice booming, “We suspect your company of pants monopoly. Everyone is required to cooperate with the investigation!”

Old Wang was completely dumbfounded. He looked down at the pants he was wearing, suddenly feeling like he would never wear pants again in his life.